Amazing Race 13
Episode Nine:
Old Square, Almaty, Kazakhstan
Neskuchnyy Sad, Moscow, Russia
Previously on the Amazing Race…
Five teams set out from Delhi, India, for Almaty Kazakhstan…competition for the Fast Forward…the futile end of a vegetarian streak…two-person cow suits…left behind shoes…four teams remain, who will be eliminated next…
Phil then reminds us that Almaty was founded in ancient times and then destroyed in the 13th century by Mongols; only to emerge 600 years later as a political capital and major industrial center (which still doesn’t satisfactorily explain the episode’s use of truck cranes)…a pit stop at an Old Square in a park in the center of the city.
We knew that Nick and Starr were the first to arrive at the pit stop, but we learn that they arrived at 9:21 AM; Toni and Dallas arrived next at 10:47 AM, which means that winning the Fast Forward was worth 1:46 (or at the end of the day, just a pair of Jet Skis as the time advantage is typically eliminated at the airport).
Ken and Tina arrived at 11:17 AM and the now shoeless Frat Boys, who were the last non-eliminated team, arrive at 12:41 PM.
A Bit of Confusion and a Bit of Clarity
First a bit of confusion. I don’t think I have ever found the official rules given to the teams, but Wikipedia has pulled together what looks to be a pretty accurate collection of rules that also outline various adaptations that have occurred over the previous races.
So I don’t understand why the Frat Boys were not able to go and retrieve their shoes from the children’s theatre—but there must be a rule that once a team checks into a pit stop, there is a defined area that the teams cannot leave—even to retrieve items they may have dropped along the way. I suspect that this rule is designed to prevent a team from shopping, or doing anything that would help them with the next leg of the race.
I also get a little confused as to why the Frat Boys were sent back to walk when they used a cab to get to the Pit Stop rather than being assessed a penalty. When the Geeks used a cab instead of walking in La Paz, they were assessed a 30 minute penalty, which allowed another team to pass them.
I went back and checked the episode in question and it appears that the Geeks made their mistake in the middle of an episode, and therefore Phil wasn’t available to make them go back and repeat the task correctly. In contrast, the Frat Boys made their mistake heading into the Pit Stop, where Phil was there to immediately rub their noses in their mistake: “Bad Team, Bad, Bad Team!”
Second, a bit of clarity. I can now derive an pretty solid guestimate of the dates of the 13th Race. By my calculation, this Amazing Race began on Sunday, April 27th. The teams are leaving Almaty for Moscow on Sunday, May 11, 2008, which the Spangler’s tell us with Nick’s T-shirt, is Nick’s birthday. This can be confirmed because Nick and Starr have professional biographies on the Internet—Nick is an actor, and Starr was a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. Source documents are here, here, and here.
Route Info: Proceed to Moscow, Russia
Phil tells us that teams must now proceed some 2,000 Phil miles to Moscow, Russia, and when they land they have to make their way by taxi to the Krutitske Podvorye Monastery.
Once again I have chosen to abandon Expedia because I know there has to be a better route based on information shown in the episode. We know that the teams were leaving Almaty on an Air Astana flight at 6:05 AM. I had to go to the Air Astana Web site to find flight 817 which now leaves Astana at 6:15 AM and arrives in Moscow (SVO) at 8:00 AM. This flight covers 1,926 miles and takes 4:45. The cost is 28,814KZT (Kazakhstan Tenge) or US$238.00. This map shows Almaty and Moscow (airport to airport).
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I have a bit of a struggle with the exact name and location of the monastery. According to CBS it is 'Krutitske Podvorye Monastery' but Google finds nothing for this name (other than Amazing Race summary sites). The ever helpful Google suggests that maybe I meant to search for 'Kritiske Podvorye Monastery', however this is a cruel search engine joke as selecting this link finds no matching documents.
A search for 'Moscow Monastery' finds one of my favorite Moscow sites from previous races, Moscow Taxi. They suggest it could be known as the Metropolitan’s Residence at Krutitsky or the Kruyitskoye Podvorye. Pictures from the Moscow Information Web Site also suggest that this is the Krutitsy Monastery. Despite my earlier concerns about Wikipedia, it may have the most complete and accurate description of the monastery.
This leads to the question what is a Metropolitan in this context? Well it appears that the answer is a bishop of a metropolis, and the description of Phillip II Metropolitan of Moscow is also worth a read.
Although the outside of many of the buildings are plain red brick and the courtyard a bit unkempt, the icons, artworks and alters inside the churches are very impressive. I wish the Race producers had of given us fewer shots of the team, and a more visual tour of the icons and alter panels. After each team member lights two candles an official of the monastery gives the teams their next clue.
From the airport to the monastery is 21.8 miles and the Google Maps estimates the time to drive the route is 1:04. Oh, and you better be able to read Russian as the street names are all written using the Cyrillic alphabet.
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Route Info: Proceed to Kolosok Camp
According to Phil, teams must now make their way to the ‘outskirts’ of Moscow and find a decommissioned military base where they will search for their next clue.
As good as Google maps is, a search on ‘decommissioned military bases’ and Moscow (eliminating the words Amazing and Race) does not find any documents with an address or city name.
I had to rely on visual clues in the episode, so first, as the teams are driving, there is an overhead road sign that says:
БРОННИЦЬІ 30
This seems to be for the town of Bronnitsy, which is southeast of Moscow on the M-5 or Novoryazanskoye Shosse. So this sets the basic direction the teams are travelling.
Further along we see this road sign:
So a quick complaint about shows like the Border or CSI where they take a shot from a security camera or poorly defined image like this one and presto, their software can distinguish the letters and numbers of the license plate or read the cab’s medallion. In fact I don’t think it really works that way, just like every criminal case isn’t solved by a mass of irrefutable forensic data and a team of FBI agents don’t swoop into action to find every person reported as missing.
This image was captured at the highest resolution that TiVo will record and then played back on the computer with the most memory and best editing tools available for consumers today, and in the end I still have to guess that this road sign reads:
НИКИТСКОЕ
I think this is the Cyrillic spelling for the town of Nikitskoye, which is some 44 miles south west of Moscow on M-5. Now this image was taken from the cab with Nick and Starr, who were the last team to arrive at the camp, and who were the most lost on the way to the camp. I think they saw this sign because their cab driver went too far along the M-5 highway and had to turn back. Where they needed to be was in the town of Tatarintsevo as shown in this partial sign shown as they arrive at the camp:
With each team having a camera person with them you just have to thank the producers for choosing the shot from the taxi with the dirtiest wind shield, but I think the brown sign on the right hand side has the Kolosok Camp name on it, and the road sign just behind it starts with:
ТАТА
and is actually the sign for the village of:
ТАТАРИНЦЕВО
or Tatarintsevo. So that is where I have decided the Kolosok Camp is located and based on the driving directions on Google maps from the Monastery in Moscow the distance travelled to get to this town is 44 miles and takes 1:20. But this is hardly the ‘outskirts of Moscow’ as Phil claimed.
This map shows all the locations (including the town where they have to find the bakery, but that is a whole other Road Block).
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I looked at lots of Web sites to try to figure this out, and about the only real interesting one was about the Russian Military in the Moscow district.
Detour: САЛОИ (Boots) or БОРЩ (Borscht)
Phil tells us that the teams will have to choose between two tasks that will entrench them in Russia's strong military tradition. For both detours, teams must properly dress in Russian Army uniforms, including wrapping their feet in traditional foot wraps (that look like triangular bandages from a first aid kit). It seems these are called either portyanki (Globe and Mail) or partianki (Newsweek), and because the purpose of these summaries is to help you enjoy the full Race experience, here are the instructions for putting them on. So simple even a Frat Boy with several hours of free time can do it.
‘In Boots,’ teams must join a training squad and learn a traditional parade march. Once they have learned it, the team must march one full lap of the parade ground. If the drill sergeant is satisfied with their performance, he will give the team their next clue. While I could find lots of Russian Army marching music, instructions on how-to March like a Russian soldier appear to be on the Internet.
‘In Borscht’ teams must serve borscht to a company of 75 soldiers. Once each soldier has a bowl of soup, teams will receive their next clue.
Frankly, neither of these tasks is particularly onerous providing you aren’t a Frat Boy.
My rule of thumb is not to complain about how a person or team manages to stay on a reality show while other, more qualified individuals are eliminated, because the fact they have not been eliminated speaks for itself. But I am totally baffled that a team as uncoordinated and unable to interpret a clue as these two are still in the Race. But there they are, racing along, so it must be that they are better then they appear. Ken of Ken and Tina said in this episode that they [the Frat Boys] are good at getting to places, but bad at tasks.
So at the start of this episode the Frat Boys have no shoes, and when they get to the Detour, one of them is completely incompetent at getting the foot wrappings on; they don’t understand that they have to wear the uniform to perform either task; and therefore, end up struggling to put the uniform on twice.
After several attempts it was clear that one of the Frat Boys could never get close to completing the march that six other people mastered quite quickly. At least the Russian Army band got a laugh out of watching the Frat Boys, but seriously, how can these two still be on the Race? Is luck starting to play a bigger factor on the Race than skill?
Route Info: Zhukovsky Bakery
Once they complete the Detour, teams must make their way to a bakery in the town of Zhukovsky, where they will get their next clue. This town was highlighted on the previous map, and according to Google Maps the easiest way to get there is to head back up the M-5 back to Bronnitsy, head north east on the A-107, and then north west on the A-102. The camp and the town with the bakery are 29 miles apart and according to Google Maps, it takes 51 minutes to drive.
When I was looking at the satellite view of the town I was surprised to note a very long runway. The only other runways I have seen near that length are Boeing's runways at [Boeing] field in Seattle and Paine Field in Everett. Ends up that Zhukovsky has quite important to the Russian aviation industry.
Roadblock: Who Has A Strong Back
A roadblock is a task that only one person may perform…
For this roadmap a team member must carry 50, 55 pound sacks (for a total 2,750 pounds of flour each) from a truck into the bakery. Once in the bakery, the bags have to be stacked neatly on the floor, and when the team member has delivered the last bag of flour, the slightly-sarcastic shop owner will hand them their next clue. This may be one of the most physical tasks on the Race since the Bowling Moms had to climb the rope.
Route Info: Neskuchnyy Sad Park
Teams now have to make their way to the library at Neskuchnyy Sad Park, which is the pit stop for this leg of the Race.
It is really rare to Google something on a Russian segment of the Race and in the first document provide both an address and a pretty good description, but this time it worked. This article on how they are increasing the walking paths in the parks is also interesting.
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According to Google Maps, the teams will travel about 28 miles from the bakery to the park, and although Moscow appears to have good ring roads and highways, this is estimated as taking 59 minutes.
Toni and Dallas arrive at the pit stop first, which is their first, first place finish on the race. They win a trip for two to a resort in the Dominican Republic. Tina and Ken are pretty close behind them for a second place finish, and Nick and Starr, despite sending their cab driver away in frustration, manage to arrive in third place.
The Frat Boys, who don’t have enough money to pay for the cab, are the last team to arrive. Phil says he is sorry to tell them that they are still in the Race because this is a non-elimination leg—but I think he was just trying to tease them. I however would be more than happy to tell them they have been eliminated, but you probably already figured this out.
At least they will have to complete a speed bump (an extra task) on the next leg and maybe that will be the end of their racing days.
Back to the rules one more time before I end this summary—it isn’t just that I can’t believe the Frat Boys are still in the race—but there has to be some penalty for not being able to pay a bill along the way. The Frat Boys didn’t have any where near the full amount that they owed their cab driver, and they really didn’t negotiate a fair and equitable conclusion with the cab driver. They just wore him down, until the point where he had to cut his losses. This is not dissimilar from earlier Races where Americans with plenty of advantages were essentially begging for money in countries with poor or emerging economies. At a minimum, someone from the Race, like the cameraman should have made this cab driver whole.
Finally we learn that in the next leg, one team will loose its money and a passport--but from the preview clips we cannot tell which team it is.