Amazing Race 14
Episode Nine:
Our Parents Will Cry Themselves to Death
Previously on the Amazing Race, five teams raced from Phuket to Bangkok Thailand…attaching propellers…abandoning belongings…navigating canals…fitting dentures…karaoke cabs…and such flagrant rule breaking that Phil ‘ Throws the Book’ at one team…
Before we continue with the summary, there is a matter that has to be addressed up front—and it is more than a mere housekeeping issue. In the preview of this episode of the Race Phil says this leg ends with the ‘most memorable pit stop ever’. I prefer to say it was the ‘most embarrassing pit stop ever’, because there have been countless more scenic, or exotic pit stops, or even pit stops featuring greeters in native costume or even Phil’s father that are far more memorial than this one.
The Puli Brothers had to decide how much they wanted to comment on the whole brouhaha. And in the end here is my decision: I will treat the court of public opinion as if it were a court of law.
In law courts, judges decide matters of law, and the jury decides matters of fact. So in the Race court of public opinion, Phil is the judge and he decides if the Race’s laws have been broken. We have seen Phil in this role several times during this season of the Race, in particular with the Stuntmen, Mark and Michael.
As Phil penalized neither team for any inappropriate actions, I must assume that there were no Race rules broken—including rules we are unaware of—and the actions of both teams therefore, did not rise to the point of ‘hitting, striking, or harming’ another player in a manner that the rules could not allow. And calling someone the ‘B-word’ or any other name calling is likely covered by the ‘Sticks and Stones’ doctrine.
This leaves us with the question of which team did what to whom? This of course, is a matter of fact, and therefore open to the jury of viewers to decide. Race summaries that like Margie and Luke will present their story as being the true facts. Summaries that like Kisha and Jen will present their story as being the true facts.
Typically I don’t look at other summaries of the Race preferring to puzzle through issues on my own. I will occasionally reference the CBS Web site for the spelling of a name or background on a team. This week I did look at some summaries and if you really want to review the whole mess, then the Television Without Pity recap is is probably the most complete (and I have always liked their tone).
The Puli Brothers will join Phil in the judicial rule and say doesn’t look like a rule was broken, and therefore it is meaningless. I would like to point out that in my opinion no one will win the Race because they were the first to pull the clue out of any clue box along the Race. In the end the winner will be the one that properly and completely read and interpreted the clues.
The only place where even a little jostling might make sense is when running for the mat at the pit stop, and there it is the last member of the team to step on the mat, not the first, that controls winning order. Therefore in a tight race to the mat, rather than blocking another team the faster team member should be helping their slower partner.
With this less than pleasant matter out of the way, let’s return to what hopefully the Puli Brothers do best—provide information about the places on the Race that the teams pass in their rush to the pit stop.
Leaving the Phya Thai Palace
Phil reminds us that Bangkok is the ‘Venice of the East’ and along one of the canals, is the Phya Thai Palace pit stop. This is another pit stop of indeterminate length, as the teams again arrive and depart in day light, but this longer pit stop may have been to realign the start times to accommodate the remaining time on the Stuntmen’s penalty (which was added their departure time).
This means that Margie and Luke, who were the first to arrive at some unknown time, are the first to depart at 9:36 AM. Jaime and Cara depart almost an hour later at 10:30 AM. Tammy and Victor depart third, ten minutes later (10:40). Kisha and Jen depart fourth at 12:43 PM, with Mark and Michael departing last at 4:08 PM. That is more than six and a half hours after the first team departed. If the teams received any new funds for this leg, we do not know how much each team got.
Route Info: Guilin China
Phil tells us teams must now fly over 1,000 Phil miles to Guilin China, and once there, travel by taxi to Qing Xiu Lu street and find a hair salon where they will get their next clue. As Margie and Luke arrive at the airport we find that they have to enter China via Guangzhou.
As this is the first time in China for this Race let’s review some facts about China from our friends at the CIA World Factbook. And even though the teams are just passing through, let’s also look at the city of Guangzhou, and where it is located.
Because of the difference in start times, teams take four different flights from Bangkok to Guangzhou, and then at least three different flights from Guangzhou to Guilin. Some teams catch a connection on Kenya Airlines, and there is a flight from Nairobi, Kenya, to Guangzhou, China that stops in Bangkok, but Expedia.com does not list this flight, so we'll reject it as the proxy.
For the first leg of the flight, the Sisters who leave fourth, catch a flight on Thai Airlines around 3:20 PM. Thai Airlines flight 678, leaves Bangkok (BKK) for Guangzhou (CAN) at 3:25 PM, arriving 2:50 later at 7:15 PM. This flight covers 1,048 miles and costs $928.40 for two passengers.
The teams that got into Guangzhou first were scheduled on a flight at 8:30 PM for Guilin. China Southern Airlines flight, 3303, leaves Guangzhou at 8:35 PM arriving in Guilin at 9:30 PM. This flight costs $208.60 for two, covers 230 miles and takes 0:55.
Just to show how randomizing different flights can be the Sisters, who leave Bangkok fourth, with technically a later connection to Guilin, arrive first. This is because the flight that the first three teams were on was delayed later than the flight the Sisters took.
This map shows the route from Bangkok to Guilin.
View AR_14_28_Thailand_to_China in a larger map
I think because of all the wasted space showing us the ‘incident’ over and over, there is a weird gap in viewing of the Race, because the teams arrive in Guilin at night (before midnight local time), and we see them get into cabs to go to Qing Xiu Lu Street. The way the Race shows it it must have been one long cab ride because it is morning when we see the first team arrive at the hair salon.
While we wait for the sun to rise, let’s learn something about Guilin. The Travel China Website offers both a good description of the city, and a bit of its history. China Connection Tours have the best maps of Guilin.
I never found the street on Google maps, but amazingly it shows up in this map from China Connection Tours (in the upper left-hand corner, find ‘Reed Flute Caves’ and follow the road east and you will see it—you might think this makes it easier to spot on Google, but the resolution of Google’s images of China are just not that clear). One amusing event at the hair salon was that several teams apparently could not see the clue box although it was clearly marked and not obscured in any way. Maybe they were distracted by the Speed Bump sign for the Stuntmen.
Route Info: Number Twenty-four Bridge
In the end it appears that routing the teams to the hair dresser was just to wedge in a relatively minimal Speed Bump (Mark and Michael have to shampoo two ladies hair out on the street), as the other teams merely get a clue that tells them to proceed to the Number Twenty-four Bridge, where they will find their next clue.
Wow, so much Chinese history and famous people, and they name bridges by a number? And in fact searching Google finds a Floral Bridge, and the Liberation Bridge where trips of the Li River begin, but I was unable to find the Number Twenty-four bridge.
Roadblock: Who’s Ready For Some Fowl Play
At the bridge, the teams find a Roadblock, and one team member has to take part in Guilin’s fishing industry by learning how to do things the old fashioned way. At first I thought the teams had to catch ten fish, but the description was that the team member had to train the birds to retrieve fish, and when they get the bird to return with a fish ten times, they will get their next clue.
The birds are Cormorants, and the trick to why they don’t eat the fish is revealed here.
Route Info: Ancient South Gate
Once the birds have be trained, teams are told to make their way to the Ancient South Gate, which according to China Connection Tours, is on Banyan Lake. Here the teams get a clue telling them about the detour, which will take place on islands in Banyan Lake.
Detour: ‘Choreography’ or ‘Calligraphy’
A detour is a choice…here Phil tells us the teams must pick between two ways the people of Guilin express themselves artistically.
In ‘Choreography’, teams must learn a ballroom dancing exercise routine, and then dance the routine to the satisfaction of two judges. These types of tasks are dangerous choices, because the judges can be finicky, as they are with the Cheerleaders, who with the Stuntmen were the only team to pick this detour choice. Jaime and Cara had a problem with the dance as they didn’t realize until the third time that they were expected not to just complete the routine once, but rather to repeat it until the music stopped.
In ‘Calligraphy’, teams must go to a series of stations, and at each station, they will copy the Chinese characters that the artist draws. (At the Web site I suggest you type in ‘Race’ and then you will see the various characters—you will have to click on several to find the word race meaning a contest or competition.)
The characters will tell the team the location of the next station. Here Tammy and Victor’s knowledge of the language helps them and the teams that follow them, and Phil makes a “Lost in Translation” comment that seems out of place because that movie was in Japan, not China.
When the teams completed their respective detours, their clue directed them to the pit stop at Banyan Lake.
Pit Stop: Banyan Lake
The teams are given a picture of the Sun and Moon pagodas in Banyan Lake, and told to make their way to the place in the picture which is the pit stop.
Three teams are neck-in-neck as they run towards the mat, and it appears that the two greeters were more interested in finishing their food than in welcoming the capitalist run-dog contestants.
In the end the Sisters come in first and win a trip to the Barbados. Tammy and Victor are a close second, and Margie and Luke are a close third. Jaime and Cara are fourth, and the Stuntmen, Mark and Michael as the last team arrived were eliminated.
Next Week: More China…
…looks like some sort of massage torture and problems in a swimming pool…